Friday, March 7, 2014

Using your openness to attract the masculine

If you're like most women, I'm sure that at times you've felt that the men you attract into your life are not the ones that you truly want to be with. On more then one occasion you probably felt that they are either weak, excessively self centred, not able to make decisions or don't know what they really want. This state of insecurity also probably made you uneasy and frustrated, because you've felt that you couldn't trust your heart to a man like this. Even if you tried to make things work, deep inside you've felt that you want more, that you want a man next to which you don't have to hold yourself back, a man who would know how to open you, admire and appreciate you for the beautiful and loving feminine being that you are.

Attracting a "real man"!
Contrary to what many women might say, there are a lot of men around that are capable of offering the qualities which you are seeking. So what can you as a woman do to attract men like these?

The masculine is attracted to the openness of the feminine heart. There is nothing more mesmerizing to us men, then to see a woman who is capable of opening her heart and offering us her endless feminine energy that lies within her.

The secret to attracting a man is to show that you are capable of opening up your heart and to fill us with your heart's infinite loving energy.  We need your loving energy and we need to see your inspiring and radiating inner and outer beauty. As men we tend to get lost in our repetitive day to day activities and although it's our responsibility to find ourselves and become rooted in the present moment again, we also need to feel that your feminine is deep and strong enough to bring us back into the present moment.

If you are living your life with a closed heart, men are not going to notice you or if they are then they will only feel you as this shallow being, which will only attract shallow men. The better you learn how to express the depth and beauty of your heart the more deep and strong men you will attract. It all comes down to polarity. If you live with an open and radiating heart and you express this with every part of your being, you will attract strong men. If you live with a scared and closed heart you attract superficial or weak men. 

Everything is down to polarity. The more value, depth and openness you live with, the more quality men you will attract. If you can radiate your heart's love through your looks, your actions, your movements and your speech men will automatically feel it, but they also will sense if you are living with a closed heart, if you are to scared to surrender your heart into loving bliss. 

Just to make it clear though, when I talk about opening your heart, I don't simply mean to open your heart to a man. I am talking about opening your heart to the universe, to everything and everyone that is alive. Both men and women, children and adults, animals and nature. If you look deep inside of you, you can feel that your heart yearns to offer it's love to everything that surrounds you. 

Learning how to do this takes time and patience. You can read my previous post Nurturing the feminine for a few interesting ideas. For now however, I am going to share with you two simple and effective techniques to attract men in your life, that you can start applying straight away. These are behaviours that women who are naturally successful with men and live with an open heart already apply. Behaviours that soon you will also naturally do if you practice opening and living with a fully open heart. 

Love your body and enhance your appearance  
This is probably the most obvious and common way that women try to express their femininity, but one which if not done the right way, can make men only be interested in you physically. Also if you don't do it, if you don't give your physical appearance ENOUGH care you will walk around in this world unnoticed, unseen. You might think to yourself that, "yes, but I want a man who is interested in more then just my physical appearance" and I agree, there are MUCH MUCH more important things than your looks and there are a lot of men who are looking for more then just physical beauty. But that doesn't mean how you look is not important to us! Your looks is the easiest way for us to tell if you have the courage to love regardless of the situation (if you can't give love to yourself, how could you possibly give love to me or our children and family) and when we're lost in our day to day activities, your physical appearance is one of the most effective ways for us to find our way back to the present moment, your radiating presence can make us forget all the thoughts in our head and be fully present with you (which can be so challenging for us sometimes).

Express love to your body. Worship it. Keep it healthy. If you can't offer enough nourishing love to keep your body healthy, how do you want any man to believe, that you could nourish and heal us after we finished fighting our day to day battles. Real man are warriors, we will do our best to protect you from the hardships of life, so that in turn you can be radiant and offer us your deepest love. In return however we need your ability to offer endless love, so that our wounds can heal, so we can recharge ourselves with strength and energy so that we can fight another battle.

The beauty of a woman is incredibly  inspiring to both men and women. Regardless of our gender, we cannot help but admire and be re-energized by a woman who loves and worships her body. It's not about having the perfect body either, it's about learning to radiate your inner beauty through physical appearance and let the world notice you.

Whenever you leave the house, put on effort into looking the best that you can. You have this wonderful gift to give to the world through your physical appearance. Make sure you offer it. Dress, look and walk in a way so that when somebody looks at you, they get inspired by you. Men are moved by feminine beauty. We worship it. We take our jackets off and put it over a puddle so you can walk over it and keep yourself perfect. We buy you expensive jewellery to make sure you can shine even more. We do everything for true feminine beauty and radiance.

Allow yourself to be SEEN and to be NOTICED by the people around you!!!

Give your body the attention it deserves. Constantly learn how to express your inner beauty even more, through your physical appearance. Ask experts for advice, ask men that you feel attracted to and women you admire. Be bold in the way you dress, in the way you walk, in the way you do your hair and your make up. Do your best to transform your physical appearance into something that men can worship. Be brave and allow yourself to shine. Adore it, love it, nourish it. More and more and more. Not because there is something wrong with you, cause there isn't. YOU ARE AMAZING!! But there is SO MUCH MORE love you can offer to yourself and the world. You're true ability to love is MUCH MUCH beyond what you IMAGINE that you are capable of.  

Allow yourself to appear fragile and encourage men to be men
Do you love it when a guy makes you feel like a real woman, as if you are the most beautiful being on the planet? Well we also like feeling as being strong, capable men, who know how to lead and make decisions.

If you are an independent woman then you've probably got used to making decisions, being strong and logical. You might be very career focused or know how to manage and lead people. Which is absolutely amazing and compared to 100 years ago, it's probably the biggest social advancement in the world, resulting in a better quality of life. Both men and women can now decide what they want to do with their life and they are not dependent on each other.

All this is amazing when you are on your own, but when it comes to attraction and polarity, things are a bit different. As long as you have a stronger feminine essence, you will want a man next to you who has a predominantly male essence. So allow him to be that. Allow polarity to develop. 

Allow yourself to relax into the moment and let him make the decisions. Allow him to take care of you and protect you. Allow him to be the men. ESPECIALLY if he is not particularly good at it. Encourage him to do it by appearing vulnerable. If he asks you "what do you want to do" tell him you don't know, whatever he wants is fine because you trust him and you're sure that he will find something that you both will enjoy doing. DON'T make the decision for him, DON'T take away his moment to be a man. Present him the opportunity to be a man and he will do his best to find it. And when he does praise his ability to make decisions and to be a real man. Tell him that you feel secure around him and he will make everything possible to protect you. Present him the opportunity to be a man, by being fragile and vulnerable and he will do his best to step up to a plate.

Make him feel like a man and he will love you and adore you. Admire him and he will want to do everything you ask for you. 

The same way that you want a man to make you feel beautiful, perfect and admired as a woman, we want to feel that you trust us and look at us like strong warriors. It will give us endless strength and power.

And what if the guy is not particularly good at doing something or not up to the expectations you have of your ideal men? You might be thinking, how could you ever make him feel like a real man, especially if you are better then him at being a man in certain ways. Should you lie to him? 


It's not about lying. If you don't have a perfect face and body, wouldn't you still love it if your man would find your beautiful side and worship THAT, instead of criticizing you for what you are lacking? You probably would enjoy it and you probably would show your appreciation by trying to be as complete for him as you can.

Men are the same. Find the moments where we show our masculine side and admire it, make us feel proud about them and with time we will do everything for you. Make us feel like that you look at us as if we were real men and we will die for you. 

Does this make you a submissive woman? Does letting men make decisions make you weak? It depends. If you want to live your life as a fully independent woman or in a relationship that is based on platonic friendship and complete equality, then this might not be for you necessarily. 

If you however want to be a feminine woman, who yearns for a strong man who can take you and open you to love, who can make you feel like a true radiant goddess, who can protect you and make you feel completely secure, who will only be happy if he feels that he penetrated you to your deepest core, then you might want to consider enhancing the polarity between him and you. You might want to consider allowing yourself to be seen as a fragile being every now and then, so he can respond with his deep masculinity.   

There are moments of course where you will want to challenge a man on his weaknesses. It's necessary, especially when you feel that your men needs to grow, or that he lost his focus and is not working any more on maintaining the polarity in the relationship. But this is a bit further down the line, when you understand his essence and feel where he is holding back.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Nurturing the feminine

Why is the feminine so mesmerising, so beautiful and inspiring? Men are capable of doing astonishing things to evoke the endless radiance of the feminine heart. For a truly radiating woman we are willing to kill and die, we are willing to gift you with all of our financial possessions, we compose unbelievable songs and poetry, and in extreme cases we even go to war like the way the greek king Menelaus attacked Troy for Helen or conquer continents like Napoleon did for Josephine. To put it simply men worship the feminine essence more then they do anything else.

The reason why we men do all these crazy, sometimes even mad and completely irrational gestures is because the feminine holds something that we do not posses, something that if it fills us, it makes us feel almost unstoppable, like a god. That something is the infinite loving energy of the woman. Don't get me wrong, men are capable of love as well, but we don't even nearly get anywhere close to what the feminine is.

The feminine IS LOVE!! 

As a woman, being open, means being able to love. The ability to love other people but also to truly love yourself, every single part of yourself. Not only your succeses, but your failures, not only your happiness, but your sadness as well. Love not only when you're happy, but also when you're sad. Love is not a "good" or "positive" thing. You don't have to be happy to love, you can love even when you're heart is shattered, you can also love your shattered heart, it's a part fo who you are. Your ability to live is eternal, it's unconditioned, you can do it when you are being loved back, but also when not.

Love is who you are. Love is not something you chose to do, it's what you already are in your whole fullness. You just need to let it go free, don't hold it back because you are afraid that you will get hurt, that you won't get it back. Love is not a verb for the feminine, it's not "something the feminine does", LOVE IS the feminine!

Whenever you live through your heart, everything single action you do is a manifestation of your love.

Whenever you get criticesed or hurt you put up a wall to protect your heart, which is completely normal. If the event is not severe, you normaly let the walls go back down and your heart starts loving again. However when the hurt is to great, the walls remain there, you forget about them and you keep them there even when they already became obsolete, which limits your ability to love, to live and to shine.

Most women would agree that whenever they connect with a real man, their hearts find it much more easier to open up and radiate. So what is this "magical power" that men have? Well, all that we do, is encourage you to open your heart, we give you the courage and the strength, to look at your walls that you've built up during your life and to shatter it with your endless love. 

The gift that men can bring into your life is their presence, their ability to look through your emotional chaos, feel the true depth of your heart, sense where you are afraid to fully express your femininity and give you the strength to do it. We are able to sense where you are holding yourself back, which part of your feminine energy could be more free flowing and when we find it, we have this instinctual desire to open you up, to let you be seen. 

The secret to reaching feminine maturity however, is to cultivate the ability to do this even when you are on your own, when there isn't a man around you to give his presence, to guide the loving energy of your heart. As a woman you regularly feel the need to express caring love to yourself, to spoil and honour yourself. That's why you might like to make yourself beautiful, take a long bath, go for a massage, get your nails and hair done, go away for a spa day or go shopping for clothes that make you look and feel beautiful. You also might like to take care of plants, to spend time with people that you love, look after and play with kids, console your best friend when she is heart broken and crying, practice some form of artistic expressio or go dancing. All these are instinctual methods to nourish and help your feminine grow and there are many many more ways. Whenever you are expressing caring and loving energy towards yourself or towards an activity you enjoy doing, your feminine heart grows.

You might notice that after going through a very emotionally tough experience, you naturally try to practice these methods in order to heal your heart. Sometimes though there are parts of your heart that you forget/avoid to heal and with these ones you actively need practice to some form of "healing ritual" in order to allow yourself to radiate with the entire depth of your heart. If you want to live your life with a full heart, with radiance and if you truely desire to shine, then create a regular practice where you reflect and see where you are holding your heart back. 

Take a few minutes and think about what are you afraid of doing because you might get hurt and which are the places where you are carrying a wound from the past which holds you back and makes you hesitate to open your heart fully. Also take a look at what are the things to which your heart says simply no to and is not intersted in giving it's loving energy.

There are literaly endless ways you might be doing this, but lets's take a look at some of the more common ones and how you might start to heal them.

- You've loved a man but he didn't love you back and now you hold back your love from others
- You're body might not be perfect according to magazines and tv, so you cover it up with clothes and hide it away with a modest and shy body language
- Someone took advantage of your kindness and now you've became selfish or even cruel
- You hate yourself because of previous failures on personal or professional level
- You say you don't like kids and hold back your natural ability of maternal love which you could also express towards so many other things in the world
- You were in a relationship with a man that was weak and undecisive and you were forced to harden up your heart and hold back your emotions to make many tough and logical decisions
- You've spent a lot of time being single and having to be very independent, which made you strong, but also unable to show and express the true depth and real fragility of your heart

I could carry on with this list for endless pages, there are simply so many ways that your heart can lock up. To make it even more complex, some of them, like being independent, are not even negative traits. The problem arises when these event make you withold your feminine essence and stop you from fully expressing the loving ability of your true depth.

Take the time to notice these, see which ones are present in your life. Notice how beautifully fragile you truly are, how every part of your essence is interlinked with the world that surrounds you, how your body reacts to every single little event. Yes, you might build walls, because certain events seem overwhelming to the feminine, but this is what makes you beautiful. The fact that your essence reacts to everything is what makes you a woman! When you feel that you have built up a wall because of a specific event, don't be upset or angry with yourself! Instead remember that in these moments, all what happens is that your heart wants to radiate love light, but gets knocked back a little by our society and by how life works.

Your ability to get hurt is one fo the biggest expressions of the feminine essence, only somethings that wants to open in love and radiate light can be hurt. Always remember that whenever you find a wall, the only reason why it's there is to protect something beautiful and wonderful, that there is something amazing in you that is capable of inspiring everyone around you.

The same way that you might express your caring love towards a sad child, a crying friend, a hurt animal or just nature, make sure you regulary take the time to notice your hearts fragility and how beautiful and deep your soul really is. Embrace the fact that you have such a beautiful heart, but also one that can easily get hurt. Love your heart in it's fullness, with all it's weaknesses. Always remember that all your feminine wants to do is radiate light at all times, it desires to love everything.

The feminine in her most opened state looks at every single moment with complete love.

Your heart wants to be seen in its whole loving fullness, your feminine side wants you to show the world how beautiful you truly are, it desire to break the walls down that hold her back... so help her. Help your heart express it's endless love that it so yearns to radiate.

Make a daily practice about opening your heart up. Make a practice in consciously expressing caring love towards yourself. Make a habit in offering kind loving energy towards the parts of your heart, that hide in fear. 

With time this will soften your walls and give you the strength and confidence in expressing your hearts true loving ability.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Opening the feminine heart

As one of my hobbies, I really like to dabble in photography and although I like to take pictures of everything, my favourite shots are the ones that I take of people. I'm not taking about portrait pictures here where people are posing or they are trying to make themselves look in a specific way, I like to capture them when they are behaving naturally and not focused on the camera.

 If I time it right, in these moments I can capture their true selves and I can immortalise the emotions they were feeling in those moments.

Spending so much time looking at people, recently I started to notice a massive difference in the way women and men carry their bodies. If you look at men you can notice that they always walk around quite rigidly, like robots, going here and there with a strong sense of purpose. What I really enjoy though is the way women carry themselves. They walk around so lightly as if they were these small feathers being carried by the wind. There is so much motion in the way all women carry themselves, as if every single part of your bodies were pure feminine energy that just wanted to move freely and openly. In comparison to our masculine energy that is very focused and rigid. Next time you're out, just pay attention to this for a little while, it's amazing to see how men walk around like some kind of warriors and women just tend to "float" with a very gentle grace.

What is even more enjoyable is to notice that the more open a woman's heart is the more energy she radiates through her body and the more freely she moves around. No wonder when you are in love or very happy people tell you that you are floating around. Your heart is just so open in these moments, it just radiates pure energy, making your body fully relaxed. And not surprisingly when women move around with such a radiating and opened heart and body they are seen as being the most attractive, the most mesmerising. 

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than noticing a women who radiates love from every part of her heart, body and soul. Just look at a woman after giving birth and holding their newborn in their hands for the first time. They've just went through the most horrible pain that they ever experienced, but because of the endless love that flows through her in those moments, she always looks absolutely beautiful. Think about it, a woman with no make up, who hasn't slept well in days and her body has just been destroyed, holds more beauty then any runway model, simply because every part of her body is shining with pure love and a fully open heart.

Being able to live with an open and lovingly radiating heart is the essence of the feminine beauty, like a flower you as a woman, you're the most beautiful when you are open and you're showing of your inner beauty. 
The greatest thing is that the feminine energy that lies within you and within ALL women is limitless, it's vast like an ocean, powerful and eternal like the sun. I've probably met a couple of thousands of women in my life, some of them more radiant than the other, but regardless of how closed up any of them were, whenever I looked deep into their heart through their eyes, I could always sense that enormous energy lying hidden within them which wanted to shine and yearned to break down the walls that were keeping her captive.

Living with such openness, is not easy though and takes a lot of courage and strength. Take this paragraph from David Deida:

"Your true feminine heart of vulnerable love-radiance—crushed or negated in child hood—has become surrounded by a masculine shell of fear: “Because my love-light is inadequate, I’ll direct my life toward success so I am worthy of love.” In your teenage years, a feminine shell of fear is then added: “Unless I make my surface shine, boys won’t notice me.” 

Already, as a teenager, the love-radiance of your true feminine essence is hidden behind a masculine shell of protective and assertive directionality and a feminine shell of superficial “see me,” lack of self-worth, and covert manipulation of men’s attention."

During your life, especially as a girl, you probably went through many different experiences where you were living with a fully opened and radiating heart, when an outside event hit you like a meteorite and crushed your loving purity. May it be a boyfriend that you loved, but who betrayed you, a teacher or parent that was overly critical or judgemental, not having a "perfect" body like other girls, a professional environment where you were forced into behaving very cold and logically, repressing your heart. All these moments can be excruciatingly painful to the feminine heart and in lack of guidance and knowledge, the only solution you see is to close yourself up and protect your heart, which lessens your existence. More then that, if the pain is large enough you build thick walls around your heart, to make sure to avoid future pain, but by doing this you lessen your feminine radiance and exquisiteness. 

Opening yourself again and breaking down the walls can be so hard... so terrifying... that most women avoid it all together. Instead they create this "rational" and "logical explanation" of why it is actually a good thing to repress their inner beauty and live their lives with their hearts half locked away. They end up living in a lie, in a shallow existence. 

However the feminine heart cannot accept this, it always shouts and screams from behind these walls wanting to SHINE, wanting to RADIATE LOVE, wanting to be SEEN BY THE WHOLE WORLD AS THIS BEAUTIFUL CARING ENERGY.....but....the fears...... they don't allow it.... . What happens instead, to quiet these voices, the fears try to cover this lie they created with "material beauty", excessive make up, branded clothes and shoes, career, being sexually shallow (these are not necessarily bad things on their own and can bring a great amount of value into the feminine life, but only when they are not used to cover up a lie). The result being even more lies, even shallower existence and even more repressed feminine essence.

But, as a woman YOU have a CHOICE. You can either carry on living in a shallow lie, which you may very well chose because it's easier, or you will let your heart open up fully and experience this life in all it's beauty, letting your soul be filled with love, blissful happiness, radiance and beauty. You can chose to open up fully and radiate your endless love on everyone and everything that surrounds you, inspiring and captivating people by your simple presence. 

You can chose to walk through life with such a seductive radiating presence, that you simply stop men in their tracks, you distract them from their monotonous lives and make them  want to admire you for those few moments that they are lucky enough to spend in your overwhelming radiating presence. 

You can live your life with such radiating energy, that shallow superficial men simply run away scared and attract only those ones that have the courage to live life like real men. Only men who have the potential to be your knight in a shining armour would have the courage to approach you and they would dedicate their life to worship you as their goddess of love for the rest of their lives. 

This power is within you, it's within all women. And as a man, I can tell you, that there is nothing more inspiring or fascinating than seeing a women in her full feminine radiance. 

Saturday, January 25, 2014

The essence of feminine energy

Whatever our view is about intimate relationships and how much of our time we spend thinking about it, they are a defining part of our human existence. Many of us hold our intimacy as being one of the top 3 priorities in our life and some of our most amazing and deep experiences are linked to our relationships.

However as amazing as these experiences can be, we have little knowledge and control of how and why they appear, why we feel so strongly when we interact with a specific person and why after a while the intensity of our relationships can die down. We don't understand why a person who before made us feel absolutely amazing and as a real woman/man after a while doesn't move us any more, doesn't fulfil us any more. We get the feeling that "the magic has died out" and this can happen 2 weeks, 2 years or even 20 years into the relationship.

Things are even harder if you're a woman many times. You are always looking for a REAL MAN, that can open you in a blissful happiness and knows how to deeply penetrate your heart, soul and body with pure love. Instead of finding these men, what all women are really unhappy about is that the men that you attract turn out to be self-centred and insecure little boys, not the strong loving warriors you dream about. 

So how can you influence this as a woman?

It all starts with the feminine and masculine essence and the polarity between these two. The feminine essence is defined by it's ability to love and be seen as pure love, it's deepest desire is to fill the world and the people around them with infinite radiating love, while becoming one with the eternally moving waves of emotions and feelings. The masculine on the other hand is much more focused and rigid. It concentrates on goals, objectives and it has the ability to maintain clarity and remain present in the face of deep emotional turmoil. This is why men consider women as being to emotional and why women feel that men ten to be distant and not in contact with their emotions. 

What many of us don't understand though is that this is how we are meant to be. Men and women do not need to be the same, we are opposites of each other in many ways and we all have our role to play in the female-male polarity. Women have the ability to bring unseen emotional happiness and beauty into the emptiness of the male essence. While men have the ability to bring purpose and direction into the infinite vastness of the feminine emotional chaos. And this contrast is what creates chemistry and attraction between two people.

The greatest thing however is that all women naturally have the ability to love and to be radiant. There is no such thing as an ugly women and all women have infinite beauty lying deep within them. However whether you can express and radiate this inner beauty is where the challenge of being a woman starts.

All women are born with the natural ability to shine, however due to the way how are culture is built they end up restraining this ability. Social pressure tells women, that if they are to feminine, sexual or flirtatious they are sluts. Media and advertising makes you believe that as a woman your outer beauty is what really matters, which makes your inner beauty and ability to love be ignored. In your professional career, if you let your feminine energy and emotion come to the surface, you are labelled as to emotional, hysterical or bipolar. In the dating world, men put pressure on you to just have empty, emotionless sex and to ignore your feelings.

With all these influences it's no surprise that you build up walls around your heart, you make yourself as rigid as a man and limit your ability to express love and radiance with every movement of your body and every breath you breath. Deep inside, you feel that this is not right though, that this is not how you're supposed to live your life and you hope for something external to change this state. Which usually does happen when you meet a man that you fall in love with. Love has a tendency to break these walls around your heart down, but only for a short while. Once the initial intensity of love fades and you start becoming comfortable next to each other, the walls start coming back up and eventually you end up back in that unfulfilled state, where your heart is not allowed to radiate love.

There are many ways though by which women can help themselves open up and be able to offer their infinite love to everyone that surrounds them. Teaching you how to live your life with this kind of openness and radiance is the purpose of this blog and what I will explore together with you in my future posts.