If you're like most women, I'm sure that at times you've felt that the men you attract into your life are not the ones that you truly want to be with. On more then one occasion you probably felt that they are either weak, excessively self centred, not able to make decisions or don't know what they really want. This state of insecurity also probably made you uneasy and frustrated, because you've felt that you couldn't trust your heart to a man like this. Even if you tried to make things work, deep inside you've felt that you want more, that you want a man next to which you don't have to hold yourself back, a man who would know how to open you, admire and appreciate you for the beautiful and loving feminine being that you are.
Attracting a "real man"!
Contrary to what many women might say, there are a lot of men around that are capable of offering the qualities which you are seeking. So what can you as a woman do to attract men like these?
The masculine is attracted to the openness of the feminine heart. There is nothing more mesmerizing to us men, then to see a woman who is capable of opening her heart and offering us her endless feminine energy that lies within her.
The secret to attracting a man is to show that you are capable of opening up your heart and to fill us with your heart's infinite loving energy. We need your loving energy and we need to see your inspiring and radiating inner and outer beauty. As men we tend to get lost in our repetitive day to day activities and although it's our responsibility to find ourselves and become rooted in the present moment again, we also need to feel that your feminine is deep and strong enough to bring us back into the present moment.
If you are living your life with a closed heart, men are not going to notice you or if they are then they will only feel you as this shallow being, which will only attract shallow men. The better you learn how to express the depth and beauty of your heart the more deep and strong men you will attract. It all comes down to polarity. If you live with an open and radiating heart and you express this with every part of your being, you will attract strong men. If you live with a scared and closed heart you attract superficial or weak men.
Everything is down to polarity. The more value, depth and openness you live with, the more quality men you will attract. If you can radiate your heart's love through your looks, your actions, your movements and your speech men will automatically feel it, but they also will sense if you are living with a closed heart, if you are to scared to surrender your heart into loving bliss.
Just to make it clear though, when I talk about opening your heart, I don't simply mean to open your heart to a man. I am talking about opening your heart to the universe, to everything and everyone that is alive. Both men and women, children and adults, animals and nature. If you look deep inside of you, you can feel that your heart yearns to offer it's love to everything that surrounds you.
Learning how to do this takes time and patience. You can read my previous post Nurturing the feminine for a few interesting ideas. For now however, I am going to share with you two simple and effective techniques to attract men in your life, that you can start applying straight away. These are behaviours that women who are naturally successful with men and live with an open heart already apply. Behaviours that soon you will also naturally do if you practice opening and living with a fully open heart.
Love your body and enhance your appearance
This is probably the most obvious and common way that women try to express their femininity, but one which if not done the right way, can make men only be interested in you physically. Also if you don't do it, if you don't give your physical appearance ENOUGH care you will walk around in this world unnoticed, unseen. You might think to yourself that, "yes, but I want a man who is interested in more then just my physical appearance" and I agree, there are MUCH MUCH more important things than your looks and there are a lot of men who are looking for more then just physical beauty. But that doesn't mean how you look is not important to us! Your looks is the easiest way for us to tell if you have the courage to love regardless of the situation (if you can't give love to yourself, how could you possibly give love to me or our children and family) and when we're lost in our day to day activities, your physical appearance is one of the most effective ways for us to find our way back to the present moment, your radiating presence can make us forget all the thoughts in our head and be fully present with you (which can be so challenging for us sometimes).
This is probably the most obvious and common way that women try to express their femininity, but one which if not done the right way, can make men only be interested in you physically. Also if you don't do it, if you don't give your physical appearance ENOUGH care you will walk around in this world unnoticed, unseen. You might think to yourself that, "yes, but I want a man who is interested in more then just my physical appearance" and I agree, there are MUCH MUCH more important things than your looks and there are a lot of men who are looking for more then just physical beauty. But that doesn't mean how you look is not important to us! Your looks is the easiest way for us to tell if you have the courage to love regardless of the situation (if you can't give love to yourself, how could you possibly give love to me or our children and family) and when we're lost in our day to day activities, your physical appearance is one of the most effective ways for us to find our way back to the present moment, your radiating presence can make us forget all the thoughts in our head and be fully present with you (which can be so challenging for us sometimes).
Express love to your body. Worship it. Keep it healthy. If you can't offer enough nourishing love to keep your body healthy, how do you want any man to believe, that you could nourish and heal us after we finished fighting our day to day battles. Real man are warriors, we will do our best to protect you from the hardships of life, so that in turn you can be radiant and offer us your deepest love. In return however we need your ability to offer endless love, so that our wounds can heal, so we can recharge ourselves with strength and energy so that we can fight another battle.
The beauty of a woman is incredibly inspiring to both men and women. Regardless of our gender, we cannot help but admire and be re-energized by a woman who loves and worships her body. It's not about having the perfect body either, it's about learning to radiate your inner beauty through physical appearance and let the world notice you.
Whenever you leave the house, put on effort into looking the best that you can. You have this wonderful gift to give to the world through your physical appearance. Make sure you offer it. Dress, look and walk in a way so that when somebody looks at you, they get inspired by you. Men are moved by feminine beauty. We worship it. We take our jackets off and put it over a puddle so you can walk over it and keep yourself perfect. We buy you expensive jewellery to make sure you can shine even more. We do everything for true feminine beauty and radiance.
Allow yourself to be SEEN and to be NOTICED by the people around you!!!
Give your body the attention it deserves. Constantly learn how to express your inner beauty even more, through your physical appearance. Ask experts for advice, ask men that you feel attracted to and women you admire. Be bold in the way you dress, in the way you walk, in the way you do your hair and your make up. Do your best to transform your physical appearance into something that men can worship. Be brave and allow yourself to shine. Adore it, love it, nourish it. More and more and more. Not because there is something wrong with you, cause there isn't. YOU ARE AMAZING!! But there is SO MUCH MORE love you can offer to yourself and the world. You're true ability to love is MUCH MUCH beyond what you IMAGINE that you are capable of.
Allow yourself to appear fragile and encourage men to be men
Do you love it when a guy makes you feel like a real woman, as if you are the most beautiful being on the planet? Well we also like feeling as being strong, capable men, who know how to lead and make decisions.
If you are an independent woman then you've probably got used to making decisions, being strong and logical. You might be very career focused or know how to manage and lead people. Which is absolutely amazing and compared to 100 years ago, it's probably the biggest social advancement in the world, resulting in a better quality of life. Both men and women can now decide what they want to do with their life and they are not dependent on each other.
All this is amazing when you are on your own, but when it comes to attraction and polarity, things are a bit different. As long as you have a stronger feminine essence, you will want a man next to you who has a predominantly male essence. So allow him to be that. Allow polarity to develop.
Allow yourself to relax into the moment and let him make the decisions. Allow him to take care of you and protect you. Allow him to be the men. ESPECIALLY if he is not particularly good at it. Encourage him to do it by appearing vulnerable. If he asks you "what do you want to do" tell him you don't know, whatever he wants is fine because you trust him and you're sure that he will find something that you both will enjoy doing. DON'T make the decision for him, DON'T take away his moment to be a man. Present him the opportunity to be a man and he will do his best to find it. And when he does praise his ability to make decisions and to be a real man. Tell him that you feel secure around him and he will make everything possible to protect you. Present him the opportunity to be a man, by being fragile and vulnerable and he will do his best to step up to a plate.
Make him feel like a man and he will love you and adore you. Admire him and he will want to do everything you ask for you.
The same way that you want a man to make you feel beautiful, perfect and admired as a woman, we want to feel that you trust us and look at us like strong warriors. It will give us endless strength and power.
And what if the guy is not particularly good at doing something or not up to the expectations you have of your ideal men? You might be thinking, how could you ever make him feel like a real man, especially if you are better then him at being a man in certain ways. Should you lie to him?
NO!
It's not about lying. If you don't have a perfect face and body, wouldn't you still love it if your man would find your beautiful side and worship THAT, instead of criticizing you for what you are lacking? You probably would enjoy it and you probably would show your appreciation by trying to be as complete for him as you can.
Men are the same. Find the moments where we show our masculine side and admire it, make us feel proud about them and with time we will do everything for you. Make us feel like that you look at us as if we were real men and we will die for you.
Does this make you a submissive woman? Does letting men make decisions make you weak? It depends. If you want to live your life as a fully independent woman or in a relationship that is based on platonic friendship and complete equality, then this might not be for you necessarily.
If you however want to be a feminine woman, who yearns for a strong man who can take you and open you to love, who can make you feel like a true radiant goddess, who can protect you and make you feel completely secure, who will only be happy if he feels that he penetrated you to your deepest core, then you might want to consider enhancing the polarity between him and you. You might want to consider allowing yourself to be seen as a fragile being every now and then, so he can respond with his deep masculinity.
There are moments of course where you will want to challenge a man on his weaknesses. It's necessary, especially when you feel that your men needs to grow, or that he lost his focus and is not working any more on maintaining the polarity in the relationship. But this is a bit further down the line, when you understand his essence and feel where he is holding back.
There are moments of course where you will want to challenge a man on his weaknesses. It's necessary, especially when you feel that your men needs to grow, or that he lost his focus and is not working any more on maintaining the polarity in the relationship. But this is a bit further down the line, when you understand his essence and feel where he is holding back.