Saturday, July 12, 2008

Emotional Connections - manipulation or sensation?

What is an emotional connection and how do you create it?
This question has been on my mind a lot in the past few weeks, but the trouble was that wherever I searched, the answers that I found were either way to complicated or you could just tell that they were inaccurate, not fitting into everyday's reality. So I had no other choice but to analyze the dynamics of it and create my own concept about the subject.

So what is this thing that we like to simply refer to as "emotional connection"?

Well a "connection" between two people happens when they share a common thought or feeling and through this element you unite your intellectual and/or emotional energy. For example let's take Bob and Bill who are complete strangers to each other.

One day both Bob and Bill go to the same club and sit next to each other at the bar. While enjoying their drinks, they get into a conversation about cars, since both of them enjoy this subject, and they talk about manufacturers, reliability, prices etc. During this conversation an intellectual connection is created between them based around a common element (cars), through this connection they share their intellectual energy, by both expressing their thoughts about the subject. Through this sharing of intellectual energy, a synergy is created giving excellent value to the conversation and the life of Bob and Bill.

So, what about "emotional connections"?

Well it is my belief that, this happens when people share feelings. This can be done by:
  • sharing your emotions about a certain subject or experience, the stronger the emotions you experienced the stronger the connection
  • sharing an experience that awakens the same emotions in both person (watching a comedy or horror movie together, experiencing a horrible or very pleasant experience, going to a social gathering where you only know each other)
  • telling a story that awakens strong emotions in the other person
  • doing something that leaves a deep and pleasant emotional mark on the other person (helping in need, conveying to the other person his importance, making her/him feel good about her/himself)
Basically anytime you share a deep enough emotion/feeling with another person, the emotional connection between the two gets stronger. And like the examples point it out, these sharing can be unilateral or bilateral, meaning that it is not necessary for both participants to share their emotions in order for the connection to get stronger. But if it's bilateral the effect will probably be much more stronger.

So, what are the effects of emotional connections....(and I always refer to positive connections, they can be negative as well, but they aren't very useful)

Well first of all if there is an emotional connection between two people, the two will prioritize each other over other people (many times even over themselves). So basically if a person takes the time to create an emotional connection with someone, there is a high likelihood that this connection will be very productive for him, as long as it's sustained.

Now, if we think about this effect, emotional connection in marketing and sales can be incredibly valuable. If you can skillfully manipulate the communications between the company and client, you can quickly create a connection, making the selling of the product a lot easier.

Also if you look at people who are considered users and manipulators, we can notice that they all have exceptional skills in manipulating the emotions of others by using the methods mentioned above. So if you want to obtain something from someone, the easiest way to do it is by creating an artificial emotional connection.

Now chances are that if you read the last few paragraphs, you might be thinking, well if I can be so easily manipulated through emotional connections, I should close my self up and become emotionally isolated from others. And unfortunately a lot of people do this, when they get hurt, when their connection gets severed by the other person. They lock themselves up so that they don't get hurt again.

In my opinion, anyone that does this is pretty much a retard....and this brings us to the other and more valuable effect of emotional connections: the sensation.

Us humans have a relatively short life span (around 27,000 days). The element that make these days invaluable are emotions, feelings and happiness (I won't argue why here, you either get it or you don't).

When there's an emotional connection between two people, something incredible happens. Just like in the example of intellectual connection, a synergy is created between the emotional energies of the two. This synergy can result in levels of emotions that are over ten times higher than the combined values of their individual energy, thus multiplying our greatest resource.

Through emotional connection, a situation is created, in which both of the participants gain an indefinite boost in their most prized possession: emotional energy.

But you have to take into consideration that a surge like this in your energy level can be very hard to control and this is why many relations between people end violently. If you are not an emotionally strong person it is recommended to ease into the intensity of the emotional connection, so that you can accommodate to it. But if you are powerful then you can jump into the deepest point of the "pool" and enjoy the "swim"

So if you want to manipulate someone, your best might be in creating an emotional connection. but if you truly want to enjoy the greatness of life, then you should invest as much time as possible, into creating emotional connection with the people that surround you and enjoy the incredible fruits it produces.

Any comments regarding this subject are welcomed. Use the comment button below. Thank you.

Part 2

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